Our peace is at stake

I never really understood how important repentance is. I was always taught to say sorry when I did something wrong, that I should feel remorse for hurting others, but even at a young age it was always a "so what's my punishment going to be?" "How long am I grounded?", "does dad have to know?!" You know, the important questions to a kid/teenager... But now, as a growing adult, I realize that my peace, peace with God is at stake, our relationship...it's as though I'm being dishonest with Him, does that make sense? I mean even when my wife doesn't know (and she knows everything...you know what I mean). The secret sins of my heart literally eat at me, at my peace and its not until I repent, go to God humbly...I don't know, maybe I'm rambling, maybe somebody else feels like me? Here's the good news, Jesus didn't die so we could feel guilty, no, he died to redeem us from the wrath, the separation from God, from His love, from His peace, friends, family, HIM. I know this is a long post, but I pray that we return to what should be our first love, because we can, you can, I can, because of what He did, because of who He is...He does love you if you are His child, and if you are His child, why would you let anything or anyone hold you back from going back to His loving arms? Even yourself?! Come back...I pray this helps you and encourages you as it is me.